Welcome to Eat & Spend, a name Vicki happened upon when we were on the phone one day guffawing – as usual – over our latest eating and spending antics. (And why not guffaw? If we didn’t laugh we’d cry …. in our milkshakes.)
(Over)eating and (over)spending are continual life challenges for us … Vicki and I met in Overeaters Anonymous 36 years ago (and have agreed to break our anonymity for the sake of brutal honesty here); I was 27 and all 200 pounds of me had just fallen off the turnip truck coming into DC from Colorado. Vicki was a sophisticated 25-year-old Jerseygirl with a law degree and killer bod who suffered the shame of secret eating.
We both feel Overeaters Anonymous was the best thing we ever did for ourselves. I’ll let Vicki tell you more in her own words but I can honestly say that OA has given me a life I never would have had the self-esteem or self-confidence to attempt to live.
Even so, an unhealthy emotional attraction to food remains. Concomitant is a penchant for overspending. Let me be clear on where we are with both eating and spending: We’re not talking about eating that will result in either of us needing to have a wall of our homes demolished to get us out, thank god. And we don’t spend in a way that could cause the loss of our homes. Still, even after all these years, eating and spending both feel out of control at times; both remain challenges.
This blog is an examination of what these challenges look like as we anticipate retirement and old age on our horizon. This blog is hope that we, in our young-old-age of early-60s (no way can we kid ourselves that we’re middle-aged unless we live until 120 or so) are capable of change.
Yes, we realize that these are maybe not the biggest challenges we face as women in our 60s, maybe not the challenges that speak to our moral betterment, and certainly not challenges that, if overcome, will change the world in any appreciable way. Nor are they challenges that if overcome will change our lives much; we’ve long since let go of the fantasy that life will be better ten pounds lighter. Still, they are challenges that are … still … with … us.
For 36 years Vicki and I have dissected our behaviors, habits, desires, and efforts to change. We’ve laughed at our eating and spending. We’ve commiserated over various and sundry purchases we’ve made. We’ve shared secrets: Hiding a purchase from a husband? Check. Using one credit card to pay another? Been there. Justifying a purchase because we “deserve” it? You bet. Justifying an ice cream because we “deserve” it? Eye roll… well, duh. Being afraid of donuts? Oy. Those sugary wonders still drive me to dive under the covers until they go away.
For the first time, we are going to be publicly honest, open, and willing to share where we are on our path to improve our eating and spending. Add to this Vicki’s own personal challenge of needing to feel more productive day by day. We strongly believe that we use eating and spending to avoid challenging ourselves in other – perhaps more interesting and ultimately more important – ways that will bring us fuller lives as we move into our fabulous middle-old-age and beyond.
Jane y Vicki, Jan 3, 2016
Eat & Spend 